70

 

       ART

 

    Everyone is laughing.  The air smells of the sizzling grease of the charcoal, sharp and good.  What more could you want?  I try to imagine what this all looks like to somebody driving by in a car.  They must look and say, Boy, that looks nice.  Look at that family there all together.  Why can't we ever do that?  Why doesn't our family seem that close and happy?  That's nice.  That must be very nice.

    John must be beside himself.  In spite of myself, I might just invite him and the wife over for some marshmallows.  I can afford to be generous.  Doesn't hurt you to be nice sometimes.

    Susan and Eric bat that birdie thing back and forth, her talking all the while.  It's been a long time since they looked like that, playing a game and talking.  He smiles when she misses one.  Janice sits, a little pink foot in each hand, and makes like a bicycle with the little one.  He laughs and a few bubbles slide from his mouth.  Another tooth, I say, and she laughs and pulls back his upper lip.  There is a row of uneven little pink and white stumps; he knows the show.  He grins and squeals, then hides his face in her blouse.

    Jim  elbows me, Eh, what do you say?

    What?  What was that?

    Lorraine laughs.  Oh, Art, don't you ever pay attention?

    No, I say and grin.

    I was just watching how you were watching Derek, and I said you looked like you might be thinking about having another one.

    And I said he was crazy, she laughs.

    Oh, I don't know.  I give her a little leer, and Jim hawhaws.

    Don't you even think it, she says.

    No?  I start to rise, leaning forward like I'm going to leap at her.

    She pulls her legs up and is out of the picnic table in no time, backing away.  Everybody laughs.  See how scared she is, I say to Jim.

    We're too old to even be talking like that, she throws back.

    Speak for yourself.  As soon as I say it I know I shouldn't have, but Jim's loud laugh covers up what might have been a sticky moment.

    I almost say something about it not looking like I'm going to get any grandchildren and if you want something done, you have to do it yourself, but I think better of it.  Instead, I just join in the laughter.

    We ought to have some music, Elvira says.

    You feel like dancing some more, do you?

    No, she laughs.  You wore me out.  It just seems like there should be music.  A polka.

    Oh, Momma!

    No, she's right!  The next time we have one of these things I'll have to hire a band.  An accordion and everything.  What do you think?  I look at Lorraine.

    Whatever you say, she rolls her eyes at the others.

    Watch it woman.  You want tickled again?  The laughter rises again.  I step away to check the charcoal; it glows a fierce red beneath the loose coating of grey.  I love that smell.  Someone is right behind me, I can feel it.  I turn to find Susan looking at me.

    Hi, Honey, I say.  You look awfully serious.

    Oh, I do?  Eric just beat me at badminton, that must be it.

    You never liked to lose.

    No.  She smiles.  He was a lot easier to beat when he was littler than me.

    Uh huh.  Things change.

    We both nod, and she touches my arm.  You seem very happy.  I'm glad.

    I smile at her.

    To be honest, I didn't think it'd amount to much.  She motions at the house.  But I think it's very nice.  Very nice. 

    I nod.  It's comfortable.

    We look at each other for a long minute.  Finally I say, How about a marshmallow?  It's still hot; you want a marshmallow?

    She looks like she's about to cry, but she nods, and we both turn back to the laughter.  Okay!  What do you say, who's for a marshmallow?