69

 

       ERIC

   

    He picks him up like it was nothing, like Janice picks up Jimmy.  I stare at the empty lawn chair for a minute.  It's as old as he is.  They don't even make them like that anymore.  The back is almost straight, and the webbing is old stuff like canvas, not nylon.  The one arm is held on with a big wad of black electrical tape.

    What's the matter?  It's Susan.  She looking at me funny like I looked sick or scared or something.

    Nothin'  Why?

    I don't know.  You looked like you were worried about something.

    No.  You want me to help with something?

    Yeah.  I'll hold this up, and you put that stake in over there.

    Here?

    Yeah.

    I press the metal pin down into the ground with the heel of my hand.  The ground is soft and easy to work.  I look up, and she is staring at me again.

    How have you been?

    Fine.

    I worry about you sometimes.

    Me?  Why?  I'm fine.

    I don't know.  I feel like maybe I          I don't know          betrayed you, left you here to take all the flak.

    You talk like it's a jail or something.

    No, she's quick to say, That isn't what I meant.  I just meant things can get a little hairy sometimes, you know, and I don't like thinking that you have my share of that now.

    Don't worry about it.

    I do.

    Don't.  I don't look at her.  I mess with the other stake for a minute, taking longer than I need.  When I look up, she's unraveling the net.

    You know, she says finally, I've been sitting here all afternoon trying to figure out what looks so different, and I just got it.  The tree.  That old tree.  What happened?

    Dad cut it down.

    Why?

    He just cut it down.  What difference does it make? 

    None, I guess.  She's looking at him now.  He seems so happy.  Funny how you think something's one way all your life, and it isn't until it finally gets that way that you realize that it hadn't been all along.  You know what I mean?

    Yeah.  Whatever.

    I've never seen him like this.  Look at him.

    I do.  He is throwing Derek into the air and catching him.  They are both laughing, him more than Derek.  Uh huh, I say.

    Doug comes up and sits on the edge of the table.  I'm going up the mountain a little ways.  Clare wants me to look around.

    You really think you need to?  She asks.

    No.

    Then can't it wait till later?  I've just about got this up right.

    He's watching from the kitchen.  I won't be gone long, just long enough to make him feel better. You guys can warm up so I won't beat you so bad when I get back.

    Oh, yeah?

    Yeah.  I won't be long.

    As we watch him disappear up through the trees, the laughter from the other end of the table makes us look away.  Dad is chasing Mom around the table, tickling her in the ribs when he catches her.  Everybody else is laughing, but Mom is getting a little angry.  Arthur! she screams, Cut that out, and swings the metal spatula at him.  Tears are at the corners of her eyes, and her face is red.  He doesn't stop until she runs half way up the driveway, waving the spatula in her hand.  Now you stay away from me, she yells, half laughing, half crying.  They all laugh.

    When we look back up the yard, Doug has disappeared.