28

 

       THE GRANDFATHER

 

    There's just so much fun a body can stand.  She's starting to fuss and fidget already.  It don't take much.  He just comes up here and crawls under the porch, and she's got the fusses and fidgets.  Goes out and yells and ends up kicking him!  Ha.  Don't take much.  Won't be long 'fore he'll be black and blue and she'll be hoarse and they'll have the whole neighborhood in on it.

    Doug's up here sniffin' around and getting into things.  Bowin' and scrapin' and lookin' to see what's goin' on.  Never thought he'd turn out like that.  The rest of them, sure, but he was the one I thought

    When he was little, his daddy told him, told him to watch out for me.  He told Janice that too, but I never expected nothing better from her.  Her and them babies          Think the sun come up over them babies.  Think the sun          But then again, who ever listened to Earl?

    Shit!  Earl was the only one who was worth the spit God had to use to put him together.  Only one it was fun with.  Wouldn'ta caught him coming up here and buying this place.  Wouldn'ta caught him crawling under the porch like a goddamned fool and getting himself all muddy for me, just because I asked it, Woulda laughed in my face, Earl woulda.  Damned right!  Crazy?  Jesus, if he was crazy, then pity the rest of 'em.  If he was crazy, what about them?  What are they?  They don't even see, don't even know what they're doing.  At least he knew that.  He knew that right up till when they put him in the ground.  I couldn'ta got him to throw all that money away, couldn'ta got him to act like some half-assed boy courtin' the papa to get what he got twenty-some years ago and couldn't get rid of if he tried.  I can't imagine it'da been worth that much then, let alone now.  Ha.  But who woulda listened to Earl?

    Doug.  I was thinking about Doug.  Spending so much time up here I'm surprised he's got time to go to the bathroom.  Driving him crazy, trying to figure out what this crazy old man's done now.  Probably figures Art twisted his poor old Grandpa's arm and made him do something.  I figured better'n that from Doug, but he don't know his poor old Grandpa any better than they do.  Now, that boy Susan married.  Wesley.  Yeah, now that boy could be some fun if he was around more.  He'd be a little harder to make the fool, but he don't give a damn.  He knows better.  Ha.  Now, that boy could be some fun.  Have some bite in him.

    This slipper is too tight.  I told her to get me a slipper that wouldn't get too tight.  Think I asked for a slipper with wings.  Just laughed and said, Aw, Daddy, you know the slipper doesn't have anything to do with it; your foot swells up.  Course I know that!  I ain't stupid!  And where did she get that laugh?  He ma never laughed like that.  I woulda put an end to that damn fast!  I don't remember that laugh even when she was a little fart.  She musta picked that up after she got married; no man in his right mind woulda married a laugh like that.  There's something in it that just makes you bit down hard and makes your pecker shrink up inside you like it was cold out.  A woman could do a lot with a laugh like that.  If I knew who gave it to her, I'd cut 'em out of my will.  Ha.  Now there's a joke.  That will!  If I ever had half of what I ain't giving people, I'da taken up and gone to Florida years ago.  Keeps 'em going.

    Elvira'd run down and get me  slippers.  I'll have to say something about it.  Maybe Doug'll come down from the orchard and want to play some cards, and I'll tell him about this slipper.  Wouldn't be so tight if I wouldn'ta had to to get over there to the window to hear what Art was doing.  If he's just tell me what he was doing I wouldn't had to get over there and back and tell her I was getting up for the radio.  It's all his fault that I'm all swelled up and my leg pains me and I had to sit here and listen to that damned baseball game.  It's all his fault.  Sometimes I wonder

    Dog don't bark like that 'less there's somebody coming.  Probably John coming over to look in on me.  Good dog for telling if somebody's about.  Dog like that make a good friend if you could trust him in the house.  But him and me, we been like this, him out there and me in here, too long to change things now.  Can't teach an old one new tricks, can you dog?  That's the way things are.

    Daddy?

    It ain't John at all.  It's Elvira.  She's sticking her head in the door like she might be interrupting something private. They must all think I sit here in the middle of the kitchen and play with myself, the way they always do that.  I wave at her to come on in.

    Hi, Daddy.  How are you?

    Foot's swelled.

    Oh, what'd you do to it?

    I didn't do nothing to it!  It just swelled up.  I was gonna ask John to go and get me some slippers that wouldn't be so tight, but I ain't seen him.

    Now Daddy, why would you ever ask John Plummer to do something like that for you when you've got your own flesh and blood to do for you?  Why didn't you ask  Lorraine to get them for you?

    I ain't seen her.

    Now Daddy, I just saw her and Art and Eric leaving not an hour ago.  Your memory is playing dirty on you again.  Now, don't you remember that?

    I let on like I don't hear her.

    I'll get you some slippers.  Okay?  Don't you go asking John Plummer to do it.  You hear?  I'll get them.

    I nod.  She goes and looks out the door.  You seen Doug?  she asks.  I been waiting for him to come home.  He said he'd take me down to the IGA before supper, and I haven't seen him for hours.  He's probably up here.  What are you having for supper?  Huh?  What are you having?

    Pork roast.  Lorraine's bringing up some pork roast.  I look up the side of the mountain too.  He's probably up there, watching us.  It's a funny feeling knowing that anytime he might be up there watching.  It's a damned funny feeling.

    I thought you haven't seen her.

    I turn and look at her.  Huh?

    I thought you haven't seen Lorraine.

    I ain't.

    She just smiles.  That smile is from her mother.  It was that smile that drug Earl into a family that he knew would be the death of him.  And it was.  He got away like that.  Ha.  If he was so crazy, how come he's the one what's dead?