21

 

       THE GRANDFATHER

 

The trees.  There ain't nothing finer than a good stand of trees.  A man could live his life looking for something better and not find it.  Think they understand that?  Fruit.  They think the trees are for the fruit. The trees are for the trees.  Jesus Christ, how can a man get a family that amounts to so little?  From his own flesh and blood?  There ain't a one

    I never seen such a bunch of spit suckers.  A man can't die in a family like this.  I could go on like this forever cause a man can't die and pass on what there is to be passed unless there is something to pass it to.  A man has lived this long, he should be able to lay down somewhere and just          go.  Just go.  But no, to do that he's got to see that things          And then he wouldn't want to 'cause then the staying would be worth the trouble.  Maybe I'm better off this way.  If any of them was worth the price of a    the fun would all go out of it.  They may be a bunch of chickens, but they're fun and what more

    The dog jumps and makes a noise.

    Doug, I say, is that you, Doug?

    The night is still.  Whoever it is doesn't say anything.  I can hear the churning in my ears.  Sometimes I can hear nothing but that, the blood running in my ears and making a sound like squirt, squirt into the night and I can't sleep for fear I won't know when it stops and the night'll go on without me, leaving me there and going on.

    Doug?  Is that you, Doug?

    It's him, I know it now.  No one else would stand there in the night without saying something.  No one else could stand it like us.  It's him that tries the hardest and him that loves me if any of them do.

    Yes, Grandpa, it's me.